3 Myths About Boundaries (and what to do instead)
The holiday season is in full swing – shopping, parties, cards, cookies, friends and family!
It can be wonderful, but also overwhelming. For many of us, it means skyrocketing stress levels. Instead of feeling merry and bright, you may be feeling over-extended, time-crunched and a bit resentful about the length of your to-do list.
Setting healthy boundaries is the key to reducing your stress, but Good Girl beliefs (I must make everyone happy, I need to accept every invitation, the house needs to be decorated perfectly) can make setting limits feel really hard. Here are three common myths about boundaries and some stress-busting strategies you can use instead.
Myth # 1:The problem is the other person. Truth/What to do: It’s really about what you’re tolerating. The other person may have no idea how you feel. Where are you feeling the most stress or resentment? That’s the place where a healthy boundary can really help. Have a conversation and communicate what you need.
Myth # 2: Setting boundaries means you’re selfish. Truth/What to do: It actually means you want to show up at your best, not exhausted and resentful. Give yourself permission to start setting the limits you need. What is one thing you don’t really want to do that you can drop from your to-do list or say no to?
Myth # 3: It’s your job to keep everyone happy. Truth/What to do: No it, isn’t! And you’ll end up exhausted and disappointed if you try. If keeping all the holiday traditions you’ve ever had (or your parents had) because you think everyone expects it is wearing you out, ask for help. Someone may step up or you may discover that certain things actually aren’t that important!
Here’s to a joyous (and a little more peaceful) holiday!