How to play a bigger game (in life, not at the tables!)
I just got back from Vegas.
I didn’t gamble, hang out on the strip or stay up all night partying. But I came back feeling infinitely richer than when I arrived.
I was in Vegas to attend a 3-day business retreat with 9 other women and one amazing leader (I’ll admit, I’m slightly in awe of them and honored to be part of this group). What brought us together is the shared goal of using our voices to create positive change for individuals, organizations and communities. Powerful stuff.
Truth be told, it can feel a bit humbling and overwhelming. Despite years of experience and training, it’s easy to think:
“Who am I to speak up, help women own their power and go after their dreams?”
Marianne Williamson lent this perspective:
“Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world.”
I believe you have a special genius. And you have unique talents. When you’re able to fully use these gifts, you come alive, you’re happier and you do your very best work. You create a ripple effect that inspires everyone around you. Your colleagues, your company, your community – even the world.
But the reality is, most of us get in our own way and hold ourselves back from our highest performance and happiness.
Here are 3 tips to help you ditch the Good Girl thinking (I don’t have all the right credentials, prioritizing my needs is selfish, what will other people think?) that may be getting in your way so you can find your voice, create momentum and achieve your dreams.
- Change the self-talk. If you are second-guessing yourself, questioning your abilities and telling yourself you don’t have what it takes – STOP! Try speaking to yourself the way you would to a friend – with greater objectivity and compassion. My hunch? Once you start looking for evidence that you have the skills, experience and aptitude to go after what you really want, you’ll find it.
- Build a support system. There are times when we all need an encouraging word, a compassionate listener or someone to brainstorm with us. Whether it’s family, friends, colleagues, a coach, a business group or some combination of these, find people who will be there for you and be there for them, too. In my experience, this is a big win for everyone.
- Take action. It’s one thing to talk about taking action and it’s another thing to actually do it. The two things I see that most often getting in the way? Lack of clarity on what to do or trying to do too much at once. If you’re not sure of your next step, it may be time to get some help. If you’re feeling overwhelmed because you have too much to do, try breaking your goals into more manageable pieces, then get them done one at a time.
The truth is – and it took me awhile to learn this – it doesn’t have to be so hard!